“You like cats, Spider?” Bud wondered.

     “I love cats!” Spider was enthusiastic.

     “I was on this cat one time…” Bud said.  “No, ha ha, just kidding.  I do like the furry little guys.”

     Spider struck the Pose.

     “Yeah,” Bud continued, “ever since my wife went frigid, I’ve had to survive on cats and trips to Mexico for affection.  Cats are cheaper, but they aren’t very romantic, and their tongues are like sandpaper…

     “Can’t win ’em all, I guess.”

     “So, what’s been going on, Dave?” Bubba pried.

     “Nothing much.”  Dave kept on working.

     “You still going out with that nude model?” Bubba had introduced them to each other.

     “No way.  I don’t have enough medical insurance.”

     Bubba chewed on this awhile.  Was that an insult?

     “You got a roommate yet?”  Dave West had advertised for a female roommate in the Dallas Morning News, along with a hundred other perverts.

     Dave laughed nervously.  “Now that was weird.”

     “Oh, yeah?”  Bubba loved anything weird.  “What happened?”

     “First call I got, this lady whispers, ‘Do you have a hard dick?'”

     Bubba couldn’t believe it.  “What did you say?”

     “I told her, ‘Baby, do you feel that phone pressing up against your ear?’  She says, ‘Yeah.’  I told her, ‘Well, it’s harder than that!‘

     “She hung up.  She was just the first.”

     Bubba checked his watch.  “Go on, go on!  We’ve got two hours ’til lunch!”

     Plenty of time.

     Dave West executed the Pose expertly.  “Another lady calls up, and she wants to masturbate on the phone with me.  She called at least ten or twelve times.  That was okay.  Then this guy called me up, and said he was looking for a place for his sixteen-year-old daughter to live, and did I mind if she walked around in her panties!  I told the dude, ‘Bring that little tart over!’  They never showed up.  Bummer.”

     “That is too funny!” Bubba guffawed.

     “You betcha,” Dave said.  “Funny.  I had this one lady, right there on the phone, tell me she never had an orgasm!  I told her, ‘Woman, I’m just looking for a roommate.’  Man alive!”

     “I oughtta try that,” Bubba said.  “What the hell.”

     “I didn’t get a roommate out of the deal, though,” Dave stomped out his smoke.  “Nobody wanted to stay for a month.  They just wanted to stay for the night.”

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