I have the best stereo you’ve ever heard in your life in my truck.  Cost three grand.  I got a pen from Audio Dimensions along with it..  Dude borrowed it once.  I told him, “That pen cost me three thousand dollars.”  He didn’t want to return it.  Excuse me?

     One of my JL Audio subwoofers has a little hole in it.  I only hear it bottom out when I try to impress a pretty girl.  Oh, that’ll impress ’em, alright.  Crack, Crack, Crack.

     The truck’s got three hundred watts behind the seat, and a hundred in each door.  It can affect your hearing, as I’m deaf in my right ear now.  I was going to get a hearing aid, but amplifiers are cheaper.

     The thing sounds best with the doors wide open, but you can’t drive down the street that way.  Might attract attention.

     I like to get the hippies in the truck at lunch to burn one, then put in Paula Abdul.  Or the Partridge Family theme song (“‘Come On Get Happy“).  It ain’t the smoke makes their eyes water in my truck.

     A guy I don’t like (because he can’t screw in a light bulb, and I’m secretly in love with his wife), asked me, “Did you spend three thousand dollars at one time?”  I told him, “No, it took awhile.”  “How long?” came the query.  “Couple of days,” I replied, thinking, you sorry no-light bulb-screwin’-in screwin’-her chump.

     When I first powered the thing up, the immensity of the sound, the overwhelming clarity, really freaked me out.  I thought the aural vibrations would spin my truck off the road.  I was really scared.  So I gave the installer a fifty dollar tip the next day.

2026 R.M. Reliable Electric